Dentist
by Natflash498
Summary: A Parody of of my favorite scene of 'Little Shop of Horror! William 'Bill' Cipher is about to meet one of the scariest dentists in town: Robbie V.! Although, being a masochist has it's advantages... Rated T for Obvious Reasons, paranoia, and Deer Teeth.


**Hey guys! It's Natflash here!**

**This actually isn't a Fanfiction Archive request, but just a one shot I came up with.**

**So I was watching Sock Opera (for like, the 5****th**** time.) and I thought 'My gosh, Bill is SUCH a masochist.' Then I remembered this one scene from 'Little Shop of Horrors', where Orin treats a patient who loves pain.**

**PLUS the fact the next episode (even though Soos and the Real Girl was awesome!) Is called 'Little Gift Shop of Horrors.'**

**THAT JUST SENT MEH OVER THE EDGE.**

**It might help listening to the link on meh profile, so that way you can actually understand what Bill's saying. LOL**

**So anyway, enjoy!**

**I don't own Little Shop of Horrors or Gravity Falls.**

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><p>He was a young man, probably in his early twenties, obvious by his small goatee. He had soft, brown hair that fell over his head in a loose sort of way, and a top hat balanced perfectly on his head. He had a bright yellow suit with a brick sort of pattern on it, and a small, little black bowtie was perfect. He had black pants and shiny shoes, with a mysterious black eye patch covering his left eye.<p>

His name was William 'Bill' Cipher.

And he was enjoying every scream that was coming from the other room.

He was currently sitting in the bleach white room of the dentist office, waiting impatiently for the little girl in the other room to finish, hoping to get the same treatment.

A nurse was walking by, hearing the cries, and shook her head, disgusted. When she walked by Bill, the screaming stopped. He leaped up from his chair and ran over to her. "Does that mean they're finished? My turn?"

The nurse looked at him, annoyed. "Sit." She demanded, and Bill did so.

The little girl was walking out of the room with a retainer that looked like some kind of torture device was sitting on her head. Bill leaped up at the crying girl, and her mother trying to console her. "What happened? What did he do? Tell me everything!"

The little girl tried to show him the damage the sadistic dentist did to her, and Bill only nodded his head. "Well, they have to do that to remove the jaw."

The girl, realizing he still didn't get the point, tried making agonizing noises (and doing them quite well.), showing him the pain she was in. He, of all things, smiled and patted her head. "Ah, consider yourself very lucky."

The mother stared at him like he was crazy (which he was), and rushed out of the room with her crying daughter.

The door swung open once again, with a new man, with black hair and a long face, with white clothing and a black apron on. The man worked as a dentist here, and he was one to be feared, the man named Robbie V.

"Next!" He called, as Bill leaped onto his seat in ecstasy, nearly disrupting his top hat.

"It's me! Bill Cipher! I'm next!" Robbie looked curiously at the man, then stared at the nurse who was heading out. "Nurse!"

"Hmm?" Was all the woman gave in response.

"Does… that." Robbie asked, jerking his head towards the man, who smiled and waved at her. "Have an appointment?"

"Ask him." The woman said, almost robotic like. "I'm on duty." With that, she swung the door closed, and Bill hopped down from his chair cushion in excitement.

"I've waited all month for this." Bill cheerfully said. "I think I need a root canal. I'm sure I need a long, slow, root canal."

Robbie looked at the man surprisingly, who happily opened his mouth to show him the tooth needing pain. He stared at the tooth, then at the man, and with a grin only said "Let's go."

Bill happily followed Robbie. "I have a history of dental problems."

"Shut up!" Robbie said, opening the door for his new victim.

Bill said nothing, his mood dampened only slightly, and only replied with a respectful "Yes, Doctor." He marched his way into the door as Robbie closed it, Bill already in the chair excitedly. He was babbling his past experiences (which Robbie tuned out) as he pushed the pedal that made the chair go higher.

"I went to a terrible dentist on a Wednesday who was recommended to me by somebody that I saw on Monday who was the brother of a man that I usually see on Sundays and their mother actually taught them everything that they know." Bill adjusted the lamp so it shined on him, and he got the apron like paper around his neck. Robbie just rolled his eyes and started creating the mixture to put in his 'patients' mouth. Bill just kept babbling on.

"She's incredibly gifted and, and quite elderly that a lot of people think she shouldn't be working, but I go to her because I'm just incredibly devoted to her strength. She can't really see who you are but she knows, she knows the sound of your voice, and if you tell her where it is, the problem, she eventually works her way back and she finds the trouble and she does it."

Bill proceeded to place the small mouth guards inside his mouth as he continued his rant. "I wish I had her stamina, because I can only go for so long. That's how I want to be. I don't ever want have to be just-"

Robbie, slightly annoyed at the man's constant rambling, forcefully leaned back his chair, making him face Robbie, and he immediately ceased his chattering.

"Comfy?" Robbie asked his patient, slightly gritting his teeth.

"Yes, Doctor." Bill answered respectfully. Robbie walked over to his… special tools… and looked at the shining silver of the tools that looked more like pain machines. Much to his annoyance, Bill still was rambling on.

"I remember the first time I went to the dentist and I thought 'Gosh, what a neat job. If only I was a dentist.' The dentist I went to had the greatest car. He had a corvette, and I thought 'Oh my gosh, everyone calls him doctor and he's not really a doctor.'- Oh my god!"

Bill stopped his story short and sat straight up when Robbie pulled out a device with spikes, with both of them grinning like madmen as Robbie placed the tool on his work table.

"Only I got out of there Ok and then-" He nearly fainted when he saw Robbie hold up the next tool of torture. The only thing stopping him from his descent to the floor was the lamp he placed earlier. He continued his ramblings, though.

"-And then you know after he was all finished he gave me a candy bar, and I thought 'This is what I get? A Candy Bar?' This is what you do, you go through your little thing and you get chocolate out of it for getting to work with incredible professionals who use incredibly, incredibly wonderful equipment."

He was forcefully shoved back in the lying down position when Robbie grabbed a tool and stated "Let's look at that mouth." He grinned like crazy, and let out a little gasp of joy as Robbie smiled like he was insane (which lots of people thought he was.) "Say 'Ahh.'"

Bill was more than happy to oblige.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Meanwhile, the Pines family just arrived for their dentist work: Mabel was in need of being checked for her braces, Stan needed work on his dentures, and Dipper just for his daily visit, and he was not happy that the main dentist was Robbie.

When they walked in and sat down, oddly enough, they heard the strangest thing: A man almost enjoying pain and screaming the most incoherent things ever.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH! CAAAAANDY BAAAAAAAAR! OOOOOOOOH, CANDY BAR, CANDY BAR! OOOOO, THAT'S GREAT, COME ON! DO-DO DO-DO DO-DO DO-DOOOOOOOOOOO! YES! OH YEAH! GO! GO ON DOCTOR! Whoo! Ah, yeah!"

Back in the room, Robbie looked flabbergasted at his victim, who was grinning like no tomorrow, even with the massive pain he had put him through. He quickly grabbed another tool as Bill cheered him on.

"Great! Oooohhh, you are something special! You are something special! Come on, come on, come on! Oh, oh, aaah!"

The Pines were staring at each other, totally confused in what was going on in the room.

"THANK YOU! OOOH AAHH AHHH, THAAANK YOOOOOOOU!"

Back in the room, Robbie was pulling Bills mouth in two different directions, normally agonizing for most, but Bill was enjoying every minute of it. "It's your professionalism I respect."

By now, Robbie was in a total rage. Robbie loved seeing his victims in pain, but this man was not giving him any pleasure, so he pulled out another tool, more painful than the last.

"Oh no, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, more! Come on, yeah, yeah! Come on, yeah! Whad'a want, same place? ALLLLLLALALALALALLAA!" Bill was moving his tongue back and forth, but Robbie caught it with his tool, and was pulling forward, making Bill sit up with each tug. "Aha, aha, aha, ahaaaa, HA!"

Robbie finally let go, letting Bills head hit the chair with a thud, making him giggle like a 5-year-old scholgirl. Pines were now even more concerned for the man in the room, not sure if it was Robbie or him screaming, but whatever it was, it certainly scared them.

"GREAT! AAAAA! GONNA GET A CANDY BAR! I'M GONNA GET A CANDY BAR!"

Bill clapped his hands in pure pleasure while Robbie was turning slightly red with anger. He held his most dangerous weapon: The Drill.

"Haha! Come on!" Bill said, more than excited for the turning torture to enter his mouth. The Pines, without saying, were thoroughly disturbed to say the least.

"HA HA, OH, OH, OOOOAAAOOOHHHH! AW, YEAH, YEAH! OH, OH, OH, HA HA! OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OOOOOH!"

Bill was grinning like a psychopath, filled to the brim with the feeling of euphoria, while Robbie looked about ready to punch this guy's grin off his face.

"Oh yeah! Ooooh yeah! YES! Yeah…"

"Get out…" Robbie said, rage dripping from his voice. Bill stared confusingly at his doctor. "What's wrong?"

"Get outta here."

Bill slowly spit the mouth guards out of his numb teeth. "What's the matter?"

Robbie stored his tool away as Bill slowly stood up and looked at him, still smiling. "Go on, Get outta here!" Robbie pushed the grinning man towards the door, and he opened it for his ecstatic customer, the Pines family looking ever onwards. "Right this way." Robbie spat out, his face a bright red with pure fury. Bill was halfway out the door when he turned around and spoke to his delightful dentist.

"I'm gonna tell each and every one of my friends about you, and they're gonna hear about you-"

"Just get outta he!-" Robbie said, planting a hand on his chest, hearing the soft clink of metal.

"What's this?!" Robbie felt in the pocket of Bills suit and pulled out one of his tools, with Bill looking at it before breaking out into laughter. "Oops. AAAHAHAHAHAHA, Sorry!" Robbie forcefully shut the door, gripping his tool with his fist as he stalked off.

"God dang sicko!"

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><p><strong>I'M SORRY, I JUST LOVE THAT STATEMENT.<strong>

**OMG I'M UPLOADING THIS AT LIKE 9:30. LOL**

**So yeah, hope you enjoyed!**

**Oh, and P.S: If any of you were at all disturbed by this, then here! *Hands white stuff* Deer Teeth! For you, kid! AHAHAHAHA!**

**And remember: If you liked this, be sure to check out the pool on my profile for which movie I should make a Gravity Falls Fanfiction out of!**

**Make sure to Like, Favorite, or Review!**


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